I finally found words...

Something has bothered me over the past 6 months and I haven't been able to fully understand why or what was going on, I have just had this feeling that something isn't right. Have you ever had the feeling when you walk into a room full of people, who seem to be normal and everything to your eyes looks right, but the atmosphere feels strange, like something is wrong? Or when you are with some one you don't really know, whom has asked you to hang out, and everything on the outside looks good and would seem normal, but inside you have that feeling "something isn't right" or "this feels weird"? I'm not talking about the "white elephant" feeling, but a sense of "something is going the wrong way". Direction versus element, heart motive versus issue. Most of us write this off in fear of being socially awkward and proceed trying to fit in, but we need to realize this is God speaking to us about the affairs of men. This is discernment that needs to be understood. I have been in a similar place of discernment, like what I described, for some time now, without understanding. After reading some of A.W. Tozer's writings, he gave words to express what I haven't been able to. You might feel a release as well.

"If the conditions we describe were confined to the ball park we might pass it over without further thought, but what are we to say when this same spirit enters the sanctuary and describes the attitudes of men toward God and religion? For the Church has also its fields and its rules and its equipment for playing the game of pious words. It has its devotees, both laymen and professionals, who support the game with their money and encourage it with their presence, but who are no different in life or character than many who take in religion no interest at all.

As an athlete uses a ball, so do many of us use words: words spoken and words sung, words written and words uttered in prayer. We throw them swiftly across the field; we learn to handle them with dexterity and grace; we build reputations upon our word-skill and gain as our reward the applause of those who have enjoyed the game. But the emptiness of it is apparent from the fact that after the pleasant religious game no one is basically any different from what he had been before. the basis of life remain unchanged, the same old principles govern, the same old Adam rules.

I have not said that religion without power makes no changes in a man's life, only that it makes no fundamental difference. Water may change from liquid to vapor, from vapor to snow and back to liquid again, and still be fundamentally the same. So powerless religion may put a man through many surface changes and leave him exactly what he was before. Right there is where the snare lies. The changes are in form only, they are not in kind."

What has bothered me is this game of religion. I watch people (including myself) live this game, changing one surface to another, but rarely changing eternally within, stepping into the new man. I grieve over this... My hope is people (including myself) will see what is good, but seek after God; that we wouldn't settle for the recognition of our gifting, or the social status in our church (wherever), but pursue intimacy with the Creator. I pray that He would have mercy on us and woo our hearts to His that we may be transformed by coming into what is real. Blessings to you all.

peace,

James (Follow)